Saturday, January 31, 2009
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
What do you believe about failure?
The ego wounded part of ourselves, the left-brain part of ourselves that has been programmed with many false beliefs, often believes that:
"If I fail, I am a failure."On the other hand, the loving adult part of us - our right brain, open, creative and learning part of us - generally believes that:
"If I fail, I am stupid."
"If I fail, no one will like me or value me."
"If I fail, then there is no point in ever trying again."
"If I fail, it brands me for life as incompetent."
"If I fail, then everyone who thought I was smart will now think I am stupid."
"If I fail, I will have made a fool of myself."
"If I fail, then I just need to work harder, to put in more effort."Which way of thinking prevails within you? What are the consequences to you of allowing yourself to think from your wounded self instead of from your loving adult?
"If I fail, I will have learned valuable lessons that will eventually lead to success."
"Failure is a part of life. No one succeeds without some failure."
"Failure does not at all reflect on my worth as a person. I am intrinsically worthy, regardless of success or failure."
"Failure offers me incredible opportunities to think outside the box, to think creatively. Let's get to work!"
"I love learning and I love challenges. What I do is not about success or failure - it is about the joy of creativity, learning and expressing who I am."
Failure - A Part of Life
The fact is that mistakes and failure ARE a part of life. Instead of fearing them, why not make it okay to make mistakes and to fail? Why not take the onus off of failure? Why not embrace the process of learning and growing instead of only being focused on the outcome of your efforts? Why not focus on enjoying the process of learning and creating something that is important to you?
People who don't worry about success or failure, who instead are excited about their learning and growing process, generally find their way to succeed. The reason for this is that they don't let failure stop them. Instead, failure spurs them on to work harder, to put forth even more effort to learn what they need to learn to succeed.
On the other hand, even very smart people, who are dominated by their ego wounded selves, generally allow failure to derail them. Believing they ARE a failure if they fail, they become too afraid to make more effort. In addition, they often believe that success or failure is not dependent on effort, but on ability. When this is their belief, they often give up at the first sign of failure, fearing that, if their natural intelligence and ability is not leading to success, then there is no point in trying harder.
Every successful person knows that effort, creativity, openness to learning, and perseverance are what create success, not necessarily high intelligence, talent, or ability. Every truly successful person is someone who has not allowed failure to stop him or her from forging ahead with passion and purpose.
I encourage you to tell yourself that it is okay to make mistakes and okay to fail. I encourage you to see mistakes and failures as wonderful learning opportunities for growth. I encourage you to let go of the outcome and allow yourself to become fully excited about the process learning, of growth, and of creation. Being fully present and excited for the process is what life is all about!
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Ready to join the thousands who have healed their pain and discovered their joy? Learn Inner Bonding now! Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding Course, and visit our website at www.innerbonding.com for more articles and help. Phone Sessions Available.
by: Felicia Williams
How Important Is Flossing?
In one word...very! Flossing not only cleans areas of the teeth where ordinary toothbrushes can't reach, it is a key factor in preventing gum disease. Brushing is an excellent beginning, but flossing is a crucial factor when it comes to keeping healthy teeth. The bacterium that gets caught in the nooks and crannies between teeth and in the tight spaces that toothbrushes can't reach is removed by flossing.
Bacteria, if not removed regularly, may cause a host of problems in a person's mouth. For instance, a byproduct of the bacteria is acid; this acid eats into the enamel of otherwise teeth and creates cavities. Another byproduct of the bacteria is a sulfur compound which causes halitosis.
Remnants of food, combined with remaining bacteria turns into plaque. Plaque, left hanging around between the teeth will become a stronger more toothbrush resistant substance called tarter. Tarter is not removed by normal brushing. Tarter remover requires the professional services of a dentist.
Tarter left alone allows the bacteria to breed and cause a more serous condition called gingivitis. Gingivitis occurs when the bacteria emits toxins that irritate the gums and causes redness and swelling. Left alone, it worsens and causes periodontal disease.
Periodontal disease occurs when the bacteria have been allowed to manifest and invade not only the gums, but also the bones. This is dangerous because the bones are the very support structure that holds teeth in place. Left untreated, teeth will fall out.
I Haven't Flossed In A While. What Should I Expect?
If you haven't flossed in quite a while, there is a possibility that you may see a hint of blood on the floss and in your mouth. This means that your gums are somewhat irritated and are really in need of flossing. Don't give up. Keep flossing. Over a period of time, with regular flossing and brushing, the red should diminish and eventually go away. If it does not, pay a visit to your dentist.
How Often Should I floss?
According to the American Dental Association, you should brush twice a day with a fluoride toothpaste and floss at least once a day.
What About My Children? When Should They Start Flossing?
The minute two teeth are able to rub together, thus creating a condition whereby food and bacteria can hide and grow, start flossing. Of course when they are young, they will require parental guidance. Continue to do so until you feel comfortable that your child can properly floss unaided.
How Do I Floss?
1.) Use about 18 inches of floss and wind most of it around the middle finger of one hand and the rest around the middle finger of the other hand.
2.) Gently guide the floss between your teeth with a rubbing motion.
3.) Once the floss nears your gum line curve the floss against one tooth in a 'C' shape. Slide it gently in the space between you tooth and gum.
4.) While keeping the floss against the tooth, gently, with an up and down motion, move the floss away from the gum.
5.) Repeat as needed.
6.) Remember to floss between all of your teeth, even the hard to reach ones in the back of your mouth. Also floss the back of the last teeth.
7.) Remember this is a gentle motion. Do not use a frontward, backward sawing motion. That can cause injury and prove to be painful.
Friday, January 30, 2009
By Joanne Elliott
Do you sometimes think that you would kill for beautiful full lips? Sure, you could get Collagen implants, or tattooed outlines around your lip... But it’s a little bit excessive, I’m sure you’ll agree! There are other cheaper, and much more practical, ways of achieving a similar affect. Here’s how to get beautiful full lips in four easy steps...
Step one: Lip balm babe
Prepare your delicate lips with a generous slick of lip balm in advance. Nobody likes cracked and frayed lips! And in this cold winter weather its important to take more care than usual. (Cold weather will dry the moisture from your lips). Make sure that the lip balm has sunk a little before you go on to step two, otherwise your lip liner won’t work.
Step two: Line and define
Get a natural lip liner, and carefully draw around the very rim of your lips. If you get a wobbly line, don’t panic (and don’t think nobody will notice it)... just carefully remove it and start again! When you have a firm line fill in the rest of your lips with the same color.
Step three: Now add some shine!
Here comes the glamorous bit, the lip-gloss! Again, keep the color natural. Forget lipstick that’s too dark or too light. One thing you’ve gotta remember though, gloss looks better but doesn’t have the staying power of lippy. Make sure you keep it in your purse and re-apply during the day.
Step four: Plump them up
This is the ‘hard bit’. But actually it’s not! All you’ve got to do, (after you’ve completed steps one through three), is dot a white shimmery product like eye shadow or an eyebrow highlighter in the very center of your lips. Start slowly, and blend very carefully. What you are looking to achieve is natural looking shading, with your lip color being lighter where your mouth opens. This will create the illusion of beautiful full lips.
Oh, one last thing. Remember, people always want what they haven’t got, so don’t fret... just make the best of what you’ve got. And you know what they say; if you’ve got it, flaunt it!
So pucker up, and be sweet!
By: Janice Willingham
Are you serious about weight loss? If you want permanent results, being able to follow a healthy and natural weight loss plan is the only way. There are no shortcuts. Ask most of the experts and they will recommend that you starve yourself, drastically decrease your food intake and exercise until you drop! What people don't know when taking in all this information is that these three weight loss methods can be very unhealthy and could complicate your health.
The goal of weight loss is to become slimmer, to look good and most importantly to become healthier. When you participate in unhealthy weight loss methods you might lose some pounds, but you also have to consider whether your choices are healthy and making your life better.
Any diet that sounds too good to be true because of claims of quick weight loss or being easy or not very challenging to achieve success is usually categorized as a fad diet. You can find fad diets without having to look for them. They are on the Internet, in periodicals and if you can't find them they are sometimes delivered by word of mouth!
Most fad diets become about survival because the requirements to participate can push you to your breaking point. Instead of being focused on your weight loss goals, you find yourself wishing for your next meal. Those thoughts do nothing for you but sabotage your efforts. Remember, weight loss is about moderation without having to take it to the extreme.
Once the decision is made to begin a weight loss plan it is usually as a result of health issues or because you have decided it is about time to lose the extra weight which will not only affect your outer appearance, but your quality of life also. Before embarking on a rigorous weight loss program, there are two things you should consider:
1. Ask yourself the question, do I really need to lose weight? Sometimes we enter into a weight loss plan because a friend has told us we are gaining a few pounds or even we may have noticed some extra pounds while looking in the mirror or even those favorite jeans don't fit anymore.
All this doesn't mean you are grossly overweight and need to lose weight immediately, it just means that you might need to be more cognizant of what and how much you eat. And, maybe you need to be more active than your normal daily activities and getting in and out of the car.
The best way of determining if you are overweight is to use a BMI (body mass index) calculator. Based on your age and height, the BMI calculator is a tool used to estimate what should be your healthy weight as it relates to your height.
People sometimes believe that the BMI measures the percentage of body fat that one has, but that is not correct. The BMI basically determines your overall fitness, identifies any issues regarding obesity and will give you an idea on how many pounds you need to lose in order to become healthy.
The obsession we have for becoming thin is promoted by the ultra thin celebrities or models. Our obsession with thinness More and more people want to become as slim as their favorite celebrities, and often they end up with fatigue, nervousness, bulimia and anorexia. Remember that you should lose weight only if there are valid medical reasons for it, not because you "think" that you are overweight!
2. Following a healthy eating plan is the key. A lot of people get involved in fad diets believing they are the answer due to the ease of getting started and the promises of quick and easy weight loss. The right dose of weight loss consists of healthy meals and exercise. When you starve yourself in the quest of losing weight with fad diets, your body goes into protect mode. Your body will start to make more fat and fight to hold on to the fat you're trying to lose.
Weight loss is a serious business because you really have to be prepared mentally and emotionally. The other aspect of embarking upon this journey is willpower and commitment to work towards your weight loss goals.
Article Source: http://www.cywires.com
Article Source: http://www.cywires.com
By: Lisa Copen
As I sit here working on this article my 4-year-old son hangs out with me with a little cold and fever. I keep telling him he needs some medicine but all he has said since he got out of bed is "I'm better now. I'm all better." How much does our attitude effect how well we deal with our illness and our level of happiness?
Everyone copes with challenges in their lives in different ways. For those who are diagnosed with a chronic illness they may put on a happy face and literally decide they will use this as a dare to succeed, constantly trying to overcome any limitations it sets forth. Others will drive home from the doctor's office wondering how much longer they will be able to drive because of the pain. They'll flop down on the couch and rarely roam from it for years. What is it that makes some people thrive despite their chronic illness and others simply survive and use it as an excuse for everything that goes wrong?
People who live with an illness and still radiate happiness and joyfulness for life have some things in common. None of us cope with our illness perfectly, so even if we tend to deal with it well, there is likely a tip below that we could use to improve our outlook on life.
Happy people who live with illness have the following in common:
 They possess hope. Research has shown that hope actually increases the speed at which people recover from surgery. Hope is vital and a necessary step in finding contentment despite our circumstances. The 2006 theme of National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week was "My illness is invisible but my hope shines through." We all should live with this attitude.
 They persevere and keep going no matter what. Living with a chronic illness is painful! Emotionally, physically, and spiritually it has the ability to quickly drain our strength and spirit. Our health is one of the main things we depend on to help us conquer our dreams, even referring to the saying, "At least you have your health!" But people who live with chronic pain and still are happy have learned to persist in reaching for their dreams, or even re-examining their dreams in order to create new ones. At times, the news goals can be more exhausting than the original ones, but passion can create a lot of adrenaline.
 They are good advocates of their own health. Paul J. Donoghue and Mary E. Siegel, authors of "Sick and Tired of Feeling Sick and Tired," write "Getting this help in a consistently satisfying manner is as essential as it is challenging. You will need perseverance, courage and skill. You will need to understand your needs and be committed to getting them" (p. 160). People who take part in the decision making process on the topic of their care and treatment, and who actively hunt for out doctors who will partner with them, are more happy than those who feel out of control. For example, if it's one's desire to have children it's important to have a medical team that will understand this desire and provide good treatment even if they don't agree with your decision, rather than reprimand you by giving you poor care.
 They don't play the victim role. They say "Why not me?" rather than "Why me?" To form this attitude can take time if it doesn't come naturally. But by being involved with organizations that serve people who are ill, have cancer, or who have left abusive homes--whatever your passions are--you will begin to understand that this world is not perfect. When things are going right in their lives, they recognize it as a blessing, not a right.
 They understand who they are and so aren't overly sensitive, taking other's comments too personally. If one has a strong faith this can make everything much simpler because one understands her value and worth as a person doesn't count on what she can accomplish with her physical strength. She learns what she is accountable for (like an attitude) and not (like an infection that keeps returning). This can help keep away unnecessary guilt for things out of her power.
 They communicate adeptly. Being able to talk with others, explain your feelings, learning to listen effectively, and watching your words carefully, can help you avoid a lot of troubles. Misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and arguments can affect your whole life and your body's capacity to cope with an illness. One must learn to manage bitterness and focus on healthy relationships. Happy people with illness are good at understanding when to talk about their illness and how much to share about their personal lives.
 They sincerely care about other people. Your illness may not have been the education you had hoped to get, but people who are happy see their experiences as a gift of knowledge. They can share their ups and downs, and struggles and successes with others who are going through challenging experiences and need a friend or mentor. To truly find happiness, we must search outside of ourselves and reach out to other people.
J.K. Rowling, author, once said, "It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities." This quote is perhaps one of the most wonderful examples of a good attitude for those with chronic illness.